What A Woman/Man Really Means – What a woman says, what she really means… I need = I want We need = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper… I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really going to hate I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry I was wrong = Not as wrong as you Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep I’m not yelling! = Of course I’m yelling, this is important! What a man says, what he really means… I’m hungry = I’m hungry I’m tired = I’m tired Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you Would you like to dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you What’s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now? You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn’t even look different! I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go!
