Goverment Wrestling Federation – 13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster. 12> President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera. 11> IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema. 10> Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners– Hey, wait a minute… 9> Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school. 8> Sex scandals now involve even skankier women. 7> January 20: Inauguration ceremonies January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids. 6> Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house. 5> During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair. 4> Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal. 3> Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker. 2> Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial. 1> Before: Mr. Vice President After: Stone Cold Cheney Back
